Thursday, April 30, 2009

Oh, yeah, and screw the pigs...

I don't have time for the swine flu. I'm still busy trying to avert the bird flu, SARS, Hoof and Mouth disease, and peanut poisoning that were all supposed to wipe out half the world's population. Thank you, liberal media for creating yet another ridiculous uproar.

I have sworn off newscasts all together. Since when did we define "news" as anything negative? I don't need to hear about another car crash, another murder, another corrupt politician, another layoff, another bankruptcy, another celebrity, or even the chance of "severe" weather. I may see the glass as half empty sometimes, but at least it's a clean glass.

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