Pure Confusion

Not sure this silly blog gets read at all. If I thought it did, I probably wouldn't spill my life for all the world to read, but it's my outlet sometimes. Life is coming unravelled again. Everytime I think I have something figured out, I reach another obstacle. Honestly, I thought life was supposed to get easier the older we get.

I have been searching for some clarity. I am truly trying to not sweat the small stuff. I am trying to find the silver lining. Right now, all I find happiness in is spending time with my daughter and riding my bike. They are my salvations and my escapes.

Last night, after work, I drove to Blanket's Creek and rode in the dark, in the woods, by myself. It was surreal. Just me, the lights on my handlebars, and one on my helmet. Occassionally, I would see a pair of eyes light up off the trail. Every now and then I'd hear a rustle of feet off in the distance. About half an hour in, I came around a corner and was face to face with an 8-point buck, just standing in the trail. I stopped abruptly, and he stared into my light, just 20 feet away, for what seemed like over a minute. I could hear him breathing, but he didn't move. It was an incredible experience.

After work tonight I ran over to Olivia's house, spent five minutes hearing about her day, gave her a kiss, and ran back home. Running at night can be fun, but tonight wasn't near the thrill of riding last night.

If I'm going to work a meaningless job, making peanuts, I'd rather be somewhere that I could enjoy my surroundings more. I know that's not possible, but I can wish for it nonetheless. I know it's not good to live in the past, but there are some mistakes I've made that I've just never recovered from. I'd like a "do over" on some of them. I know what I want, and where I want to be, I just have no idea how to get there anymore.

House for sale

I've decided to put my house on the market. It will probably be after the first of the year, but if you know of anyone out there looking for a nice little home close to the interstate (I-75) in Marietta, then let me know.

I've got a few things that have to be done - primarily some additional insulation in the attic. I'm going to try and sell it by word of mouth at first - I'd love to save the realtor's fees. If someone is looking for a rental property it would be great, and for the time being, I would be more than happy to be the renter. What more could you ask for?!

I'll update with more details and pics in a few weeks.

By the way, my truck is still for sale, as well - 2002 Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab - 140,000 miles. Great condition inside and mechanically. A few cosmetic issues on the body, but still drives like it's new. $5500 is a steal...but I'll take it :)

Time to call on the optimist in me

Today I go into Ibex Bikes to learn the ropes, and hopefully start working there permanently on my days off from the "other" bike shop.

Yesterday, before work, I went to Conyers to do one of the Georgia Cyclocross Series races. I rode really strong - me and four others had about minute lead after the first lap. Halfway through the second lap I went through a little swale in the grass before a turn...and my rear wheel folded under me. Game over. I'm 0-2 in finishing cyclocross races this year. On another front, I found out about an epic 50+mile cyclocross race in mid-January. It is in the mountains (Ellijay, GA) and will probably be a 5 hour+ race. I'm gonna set my sites on that.

I got to go trick-or-treating with Olivia! I am very grateful to her mother for inviting me at the last moment. She was Sharpay from High School Musical. I was happy to be there for it.

Liv and I have a long weekend ahead. Her mom goes out of town for a couple of days. I'll be teaching Sunday School at church this weekend. Olivia is excited about it. We may go up to Rome, GA to watch the cyclocross races after church on Sunday. I may plan a hike for us on Saturday.

I need to get to the grocery store - I've had peanut butter on toast for breakfast for about 12 days straight.