Olivia started soccer again this week. I was happy to see her really charge the goal - she was a little timid last year. Now, if I can just teach her to throw some elbows and land some headbutts we'll be in business.
Our bike shop has to have a sitcom or docudrama in it to make us all millions. 5 full-time employees. Three of us are single dads with daughters. I can't decide whether it's funny or pathetic...
I'm ready for Spring, dammit.
Two people in the last month have told me I look like Kelly Slater (the surfer)...Uh, yeah, we both shave our head and have blue eyes. The similarities end there.
Cold pizza? Seriously, I don't get it. Might as well eat cold oatmeal.
Did you check out that couple that won the Lottery from Georgia last week? Holy shit! I'm reminded that people like that WIN the lottery because people like that PLAY the lottery. "As soon as we get Ethel's gout taken care of we're going on a Royal Carribean cruise. Then we're buying Bert that little Asian whore he's had his eye on at the strip club next to the truck stop..."
I don't like much music being made these days, but I do like Jack Johnson. I bought his latest album a couple of weeks ago and it's like Valium. C'mon, Jack, I didn't illegally download it, I BOUGHT it! You can do better than that.
On the way to school the other day, Olivia asked me if "God is naked?". How do you answer that? "No, honey, he usually rolls in an Armani suit. Now, Jesus, on the other hand, has no style at all. Birkenstock wearing hippie..."
A friend of mine is getting married for the second time next weekend. I thought I had something clever to write about that, but I don't.
My parents tried to call me from Mexican prison the other night. I told the guard I had never heard of them. My mom had apparently run nude through the streets of a local town during Siesta. My dad was behind her in a bull outfit. I guess they thought they were in Spain.
That last paragraph was a joke....I just need some spice today.
My brother once shaved his crack. Said he couldn't fart for a week....That's not a joke.....no matter how you look at it.
Peace out, bitches
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