underwear

ME: "Hello"

OLIVIA'S MOM: "Olivia has a question that I think you should probably answer"

ME: "OK, put her on."

OLIVIA: "Daddy, this is a question about your privates."

ME: "Uh, my privates? OK."

OLIVIA: "You know how boys' penises are long and stick out? How come when you're wearing pants it doesn't stick out?"

ME: "Well, boys wear underwear just like you and it keeps their penis close to their body so it doesn't stick out."

OLIVIA: "Ohhhhhhhh! Underwear! I didn't think of that." (as though I had just demystified Euclidean geometry)

I smiled, thinking how well I had diverted a possible cornicopea of sex questions....Until I hung up. Then I started thinking...Why is my five year old concerned about penises sticking out? More so, why is my five year old even thinking about penises at ALL? Why does my five year old think penises are "long" (Well, she has seen me getting out of the shower...so that answer is obvious)

I've said it since she was born; I love my little girl, but I want her to morph into a little boy at about 10 years of age. Maybe I'm wrong....Let the metamorphasis begin NOW, while I'm relatively sane.